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Dear Caregivers:
For the last six years, ASCC has worked to provide Respite Care to families living with Alzheimer’s disease. Our primary source of funding for this crucial service is through our Annual Golf Tournament. The money we raise enables participating families to hang on just that much longer by giving them a reliable break in their ceaseless duties as protectors of loved ones who can no longer care for themselves. This year, our Tournament will be held May 14, 2011, at the Stonebridge Golf Course. Please consider becoming a hole sponsor and attending the event. It is a day of celebrating, exercise and camaraderie with people who understand the sacrifice and strain of living with Alzheimer’s disease. Our website has information on registering for the tournament, and how you can support our efforts.
On a personal note, my mother-in-law passed away this past December after living with Alzheimer’s disease for over twelve years. Peggy lived a full life. After World War II, a time when most women remained at home, she not only graduated from college, but went on to earn a Masters Degree in Social Work at the University of California, Berkeley. She then moved across the country to live, work and marry in Massachusetts. Once her only son was in school, she went back to school herself, earning her second Masters Degree, this time in Library Science. Peggy worked as a Medical Librarian at Children’s Hospital in Boston, until we received reports from family friends that something was not right with her, and travelled North to see for ourselves. It was relatively easy to convince the recently widowed Peggy to relocate to New Orleans, to be nearer to her only son, and her two grandsons.
Living in New Orleans was good for Peggy, first in an independent residence. Peggy was quickly enrolled in the day care program at the Alzheimer’s Unit of Poydras Home. Hunter House prevented her from becoming isolated in her apartment, kept her mind active and even allowed her to use her social work skills, helping fellow participants acclimate to the center’s activities. Listening to my support group, I had enrolled her in Project Safe Return which registers contact information, so when a person with Alzheimer’s disease wanders, first responders know how to return them to their loved ones.
When we lost her three times, Hunter House told us that changes had to be made. Because she was enrolled in the day program, we were able to jump to the head of the line, and within a month, she was placed as a resident at Hunter House, where qualified staff provided 24 hour care. Peggy continued to be our overnight guest weekend until her dementia prevented us from keeping her safe. Then, we had her with us during the day, returning her to her new home each evening.
Katrina took its toll on Peggy’s mental health, increasing her confusion to the point where leaving the safety of Hunter House was too frightening for her and us. Once, when driving her to the eye doctor, she grew agitated not knowing who I was or where I was taking her. The tentative hold she had on our shared reality was ragged. It took another two years for her disease to take away her ability to speak coherently, and her connection with the conscious world. It wasn’t pretty, it wasn’t nice, and going to visit her frightened my young sons. So, we focused on the memories of her in our home, folding clothes (often the same clothes) while the children played around her. A moment in time that was happiest for her, seeing, being with the children of her child.
Throughout her disease, Peggy was unfailingly kind. And I miss her. I wish I could be more articulate, but I am still a bit numb. While the essence of her personality had left us years ago, still, knowing she is no longer of this world, it is still an ache in our hearts.
To all who still struggle to care for loved ones living with Alzheimer’s, I send you courage and strength. From the depths of my experience I beg you to seek help where it is offered, to keep yourselves strong enough to see you and your family through the difficult days. Because, when it is all said and done, you will be able to say you did all that you could do. And that will be, enough.
Best,
Mary Anne Mushatt
President
maryanne@alzheimerservicescc.com
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